Dovina28 Apr 2006

Freud spoke of the speech of our mother-tongue as being guarded against forgetting. But it also succumbs to another disturbance, familiar to us as "slips of the tongue." I think you are relating slips of the tongue to dreams and the interpretation of both. But frankly, it's not clear to me.

You are avoiding commas at the ends of lines, maybe because you said my last one had too many of them. In general, I think punctuation is appropriate on a poem of this complexity, including commas as needed for grammar at the ends of lines. The first two lines threw me for awhile. I would change them to:

Every image is disguised under normal circumstances.
Now, to be extraordinary,

Another nit: "lithe, nearly unconscious,"