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Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams (Free verse) by Ranger

Every image is disguised under normal circumstances- Now, to be extraordinary Sleep must fall like ash -blot the sky And then a strange medicine will arise, blind and blessed As if a clock-face were some lunar arc -her name is Celeste The secret is in words which murmur; while lying, prone to doubling up lithe, nearly unconscious long slumber as smoke from a gun, placed by the hip - not eyes - in grace Pupils closed, to cite... ...owl, owl of agony with a dark stare which winds upwards Owl with butterfly wings Peacock left, a gatekeeper's right To close beneath the night gale's whispering Why so soundless, vision, when carrying this message of loss? A song would be appropriate for a night bird flying Danger soaring past the scene Past walls, God, scent, Past jasmine... Awakening is like the new flame Flicker uncertainly Unconvinced Yet the owl spoke true- She left me that day

Dovina 28-Apr-06/3:19 PM
Freud spoke of the speech of our mother-tongue as being guarded against forgetting. But it also succumbs to another disturbance, familiar to us as "slips of the tongue." I think you are relating slips of the tongue to dreams and the interpretation of both. But frankly, it's not clear to me.

You are avoiding commas at the ends of lines, maybe because you said my last one had too many of them. In general, I think punctuation is appropriate on a poem of this complexity, including commas as needed for grammar at the ends of lines. The first two lines threw me for awhile. I would change them to:

Every image is disguised under normal circumstances.
Now, to be extraordinary,

Another nit: "lithe, nearly unconscious,"




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