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99% of the Time (Free verse) by TLRufener

I've always been the first one to tell someone to try again. I've always been the first one to look into someone's future and see the possibilities. I've never been the one to see my own worth. I've never been the one to take my own advice. Love will walk into our lives and run out with either a rainstorm or a bon fire. Love can cut down the mightiest redwood and burn down the strongest fort. Love has never met a heart it could not shatter into a million pieces. Hope is the driver of love. Hope can mend anything that is broken with faith in ourselves and time. Hope will set your whole life right when you let it out to do its work. Hope never leaves a heart no matter how dark midnight becomes. Never look into the past and weep for what you did or did not do. Look into the future and see what you will and can do with your life. Learn from the past but do not let it become your existence. Always hold your head up high and smile. You can do anything. You can do everything. ********************************************************** I give excellent advice 99% of the time. I can also be very inspirational 99% of the time. It’s just that 99% of the time, I don†™t take my own advice or listen to my inspirational speeches. I said that to someone last week at a party after giving an up-lifting speech about love and the future. All they could do was laugh, until they figured out that my statement was true.

Sunny 24-Apr-06/6:43 PM

I'll say this much: your line breaks were good. Keep in mind this is my mear opinion, but there was nothing bad about this poem, but nothing good, poetically, to me at all. Where is the imagery, sentence structure, which was quite mundane, irony, evocating phrases, irony, alliteration, unlying theme...any of these elements that make poetry good poetry??
First of all your first few lines had nothing to do with you main themes of love & hope, which words were used too repetitively. I know that this sole purpose was to inspire not be all philisophical, but it needs to grab your reader, not pep-talk them. Great speech, as far as in a poetical sense, made some revision. Best wishes,

~Sunny




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