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Murder Phoenix Born (meta-villanelle) (Villanelle) by Ranger

Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Quill-scratch scream - swift dart from lava flow A fallen leaf turns often in the air Thought of glory's talons in his hair Instead - a rosy skull, a cap of woe Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Across the burning hills he cried 'Beware The flash of early column light', as though A fallen leaf turns often in the air This small bird was cremated there Smoke-dawn lark encircled by grim crows Pitched around inside this whirling fayre There gathered flocks of ashes never shared Which would scatter like a broken stone A fallen leaf turns often in the air Quiet offer of a simple prayer Arrow feathered, hewn from speckled bone Pitched around inside this whirling fayre A fallen leaf turns often in the air

Sunny 24-Apr-06/6:10 PM
Here goes...I had to do some research for this one - I like that though :)
*For your intended three-part "levels" if you will, I find the poem too undefined to really see by MOST readers, some will be on this level however.
*Don't care for your choice in "fayre" in light of "fair," coming from a Plath lover & Shakespeare, well, dis-lover...you get it.
*But more predominently overall...you do not need me to tell you that this is a well thought out piece that definitely stands for a second or third read; it deserves this much anyway.

Very "vintag" poetry (with vintage technique). Very smart.

~Sunny




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