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Murder Phoenix Born (meta-villanelle) (Villanelle) by Ranger

Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Quill-scratch scream - swift dart from lava flow A fallen leaf turns often in the air Thought of glory's talons in his hair Instead - a rosy skull, a cap of woe Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Across the burning hills he cried 'Beware The flash of early column light', as though A fallen leaf turns often in the air This small bird was cremated there Smoke-dawn lark encircled by grim crows Pitched around inside this whirling fayre There gathered flocks of ashes never shared Which would scatter like a broken stone A fallen leaf turns often in the air Quiet offer of a simple prayer Arrow feathered, hewn from speckled bone Pitched around inside this whirling fayre A fallen leaf turns often in the air

Ranger 18-Apr-06/1:58 PM
As long as it made you think, that's the main part.

Actually, it's meant to operate on three levels. There's the story of the phoenix (the literal story here), then there's the 'meta-vil' bit (rebirth of a poem from an old, dead one - of which I have many, hence phrases like 'A fallen leaf turns often'). Then there's the part which I am still working on - it's a metaphor for the Columbia disaster - I may have to find a way of building it into the title too. And finally there's the aspect which joins it all - 'feathered'. Most of the meanings of the word have been used in here with double meanings. 'Pitched', 'turns often in the air' (being a play on 'turns off', as in turning off an engine while in flight, 'glory's talons...' meaning 'feather in one's cap', and so on.

So, with the explanation, how well does it work?




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