Replying to a comment on:

Morning City (Free verse) by Jack Diamond

Free way hum distant horns turning avid chirping musing my cracked eye open dawn always comes first Back alley dialect hobo toiling bottles cat fight ghetto chimes spitfire Mexican hellcat polka a frantic low frequency vibrates my spine Sweetbread and laundry soap smells like the panaderia where I score need more sleep too many doors though a peaceful drift at 3:am I have laied my pet in this trap again I'm deep into it through the roof away from hard waters free of the grip looking forward with bent hip my starting gun is loaded.

Jack Diamond 18-Apr-06/9:11 AM
I agree. It is very staccato in the begining. I have to tell you, that my walls were paper thin, I had those slit window/blinds, and lived right next to a freeway. One of the busiest in the world. The ally adjacent to my living space was very active morning noon, and night. Homeless, junkies, prostitues,
and even death have been through that alley. For all the frantic pulse in that time, there were sweet city birds in the morning too. With my eyes closed, it sounded as though all of those creatures I had explained were all in the same room with me. So I do believe a sense of staccato was quite an inspiration for the poem. Thank you for the comment.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001