Ranger18 Apr 2006

Firstly, 'The Unknown Soldier' is the title of a Doors song; you might consider changing it in case people make assumptions.
There are some good lines and metaphors here - 'iron hawks', 'leaded hornets' (should probably be 'leaden hornets'), and the last line is pretty smart too.
There are a few too many commas and semicolons (as has been noted already), and a couple of grammatical crits, but on the whole it's a decent poem.