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7 Days of Suicide (Free verse) by dragonfly

Every Sunday morning, while the family's at church, I walk up to the mountain and climb the tallest peak and dance with the thought of somersaulting over the edge. Every Monday night, while the family's fast asleep, stomachs full from tv dinners, I float down the stairs and into the kitchen and imagine sticking my head in our unused oven. Every Tuesday afternoon, on my way home from school, I take a detour and pass the neighborhood train station where I toy with the idea of taking a nap on the tracks. I doubt I need to say more. You catch my drift, I'm sure.

lmp 14-Apr-06/9:20 AM
i think to make this more powerful, you could go all the way through six days. leaving the seventh out would allude to success, maybe. especially with the title talking about 7 days, stopping after only three is selling the idea way short, less than halfway.
besides, i want to see what other ideas you come up with...
besides bjork's "hyperballad" (a favorite of mine, BTW), there is peter greenaway's film "Drowning by Numbers" which would be a great resource to consider if you want to continue this poem. besides, michael nyman;s music is fantastic to listen to when being creative, like writing and painting, etc.
here's the imdb link to the film:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092929/

i really would like to see more work on this; i hope i do get the chance before i die. ;P




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