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Random Design (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Life is a turbulent sea of flux, with waves carrying me in different directions. I am beginning to see layers and connections between details on parchment and new frames for design. It's time to pull the curtain from my eyes and decide on a direction. Fear and hope equally shine bright across my face as the season of renewal returns. Friend's have sides that we can not see. Love applies to more than merely lovers, sweet blinding poison. Flaws are ignored for the trade of fellowship between traveling companions. Numbers build strength, and strength builds courage. Courage keeps us going through the dark, and gives us faith that we're on the right road. The wind cannot be predicted, and the open sea is known for storms. As the rain beats heavy and the mind divides the options into, either sink or swim, know that knowledge can be a limitation. As we reassure ourselves and put things into frame, we tend to call wild things tame. Dogs and Wolves will walk with man, but one keeps his distance while the other will eat from your hand. Trusted ropes snap, without care of where you have been, all that matters is here and now. Falling from the dizzying heights memories being the only sights as I slip closer to my coffin. It's come down to fly or die something about this feels like a dream. Only it's not. The pain comes rushing in legs turning up bound and broken beneath the sirens glare. Tremors grab my hands as I brushed blood stain laying in the middle of my face. The meter was running fuel pouring from a broken valve as everything became renamed. Numbers took on new meaning. The odds began to overwhelm Life is an unlikely chance

Ranger 9-Apr-06/9:33 AM
Aha, theeasterbunnyofdoom strikes again! There's some good stuff in here, although as Dovina said, it does lack cohesion. I wasn't sure if that was intentional though, given the title. If it is, all I can suggest is being a little more vivid with the imagery. If each stanza is more or less a standalone section, they need to have plenty of colour to give them some sort of individuality and character. The first line set the standard for that, but the rest mostly didn't live up to the imagery.
I wasn't sure about stanza 3, it seems a little overused, although the 'journeying companions' could be used to save it.
There are a few grammatical glitches, but I'm tired and will let someone else pick them.

This comment probably sounds like I didn't enjoy the poem; I actually did, but I think that with an edit or two it will be far more striking.




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