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Or Outward (Triolet) by MacFrantic

Vagaries in dispassionate red Or outward sounds the bell A monument to furies' spell Vagaries in dispassionate red Fragile storms eclipse your head Speak your name and know it well Vagaries in dispassionate red Or outward sounds the bell

Dovina 8-Apr-06/4:54 PM
Your poem has 84 hits! With all those people reading it, nobody left a comment? I believe you, but I think it's sad. Those 84 people had some opoinion, even if it was as bland as mine. Unless, of course, someone is twiddling the hit counter at some student union.

This is not a bad poem. It shows that you thought about something and put effort into the presentation. I said it was vague, not because you use that word in the poem, but because I really cannot figure out what you are saying. What is dispationate red, for example? How does a bell sound outward? Does not the sound of all bells move outward? How is this bell different? What do the fragile storms represent, and how do they eclipse someone's head? Do the storms speak his/her name?




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