Replying to a comment on:

Even the elephants (Free verse) by ecargo

Now the elephants know— they have learned the high places where green forest walls form a calyx around them, hiding the sky (even the sky). So still in the dim brush, their gray bulks shift shape to shadow, pierced leaf-light. They fade in the gloom and hide like the sky. For thick on thick air: the sulfurous storm stink, windborne, the blood scent, far thunder, a portent of days red with men. The hard hail that kills, the hard eyes that see through the tangle to sky, and even the elephants, even the elephants die.

Sunny 6-Apr-06/11:08 AM
Your imagery is nice, very thoughtful, but you hardly out-Plathed Plath, coming from a Plath researcher & fan (this is not an insult by any means, & I hope you don't interpret it as one). I understand perfectly the concept of a hidden sky-don't see what all the uproar is on that part?? Our styles are a bit similar, so maybe I can just picture the scene clearly with your choice of imagery. The only part I didn't care for was, "For thick on thick air"-I just don't think it adds any elements poetically of thematically. Great theme by the way.

~Sunny




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001