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Shy, quiet (Free verse) by Ranger

A cagier lightning strikes with care. Cat-like cautious side-step splits purple rolling pillow sky, clouds Swift glancing light Pause- Over ground voice, left back crackles like static, moving, catches up - hovering Turns- Moves again to find the earth has spun away

Dovina 3-Apr-06/10:56 AM
On first reading, I thought of a storm having some portent in lightning - cagy like a cat. Then I read your explanation, and the poem again. Frankly, I don't see the club scene even now. I think you've leaned too far on the side of poetry at the expense of leaving your readers without the sensation you want them to have.




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