Replying to a comment on:

Shy, quiet (Free verse) by Ranger

A cagier lightning strikes with care. Cat-like cautious side-step splits purple rolling pillow sky, clouds Swift glancing light Pause- Over ground voice, left back crackles like static, moving, catches up - hovering Turns- Moves again to find the earth has spun away

ecargo 3-Apr-06/8:21 AM
Vivid description of a storm. Cat-like threw me off, but I think you set it up with "cagier." Purple rolling pillow sky--I could see those roiling cumulonimbus clouds--nice.

The second stanza--a telephone conversation (over ground voice, crackling like (with?) static . . .)? I'm not sure what's moving, catching up, etc. I like the last line a lot, R. I find it hard to connect the title with the poem though, based on what's given.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001