Replying to a comment on:

Quiet Hands (Free verse) by Sunny

I am going to freeze this clock, these hands will droop like stagnant breath- something scarred these hands into coma. They levitate behind a plastic frame; the arms stick to that very breath of time. The peeping bird shuts-off its’ back-‘forth routine, and the mother, in her complacent gown, watches the milk become colder while frozen fingers are in limbo inside duty and this eternal pause, cementing her feet to the stance the clock left them. Baby’s mouth is opened without the screech; time quit in the seconds that lie between an attempt and a wail.

Dovina 30-Mar-06/11:41 AM
While I see what's going on, the details seem too vague for such trauma. And the ending seems like the wail should come before the attempt, that is if the baby dies of choking. But again, that is uncertain.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001