god'swife28 Mar 2006

The first line is very good. The next two lines are awful. Never us 'though' in a poem. It's theatrical and steals sincerity from everything it touches. This reads like a children's picture book. The penultimate line has a good metaphor, the storm being drowned out by wine. But again it's to ostentatious. I never heard of the moon being referred to as a child. Please explain.