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Sensually Literary Villanelle (Villanelle) by bwaha

My favorite lover, English, is great in bed. We embrace the lust, but keep the love at bay. Why be a fool, when you can write instead? Those girls who wait for their legs to be spread, I love approaching them to smugly say, "My favorite lover, English, is great in bed." I pity romancers who have tears shed, When all they really need is a good lay. Why be a fool, when you can write instead? Fidelity's better left for the dead. If you don’t think so, let me count each way, My favorite lover, English, is great in bed, Jealous types claim my heart is made of lead. I laugh because their thoughts are so cliché. Why be a fool, when you can write instead? So what? You may think that I'm misled. I don’t care, long as at each end of day, My favorite lover, English, is great in bed. Why be a fool, when you can write instead?

ecargo 27-Mar-06/12:19 PM
Not bad, but some lines are a little awkard and you stagger back and forth with the rhythm, e.g.:

"The girls waiting to have their legs spread/I like to walk . . ." "who have their tears shed"; etc. Most are easy enough to fix, really, by paying attention to the rhythm and watching for artificial-sounding inversions (e.g., instead of "who have their tears shed," could be something like "I pity the romancers who have shed/their tears when all they need is a good lay." That way, too, you retain the iambic pentameter w/out contorting the line.

Clever, mostly, and fun.




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