Ranger24 Mar 2006

Love the description, don't love the ending though. It would be a whole lot better if you ended at 'beacon, lighting' (I think, anyway). I'm also not convinced by the 'witchy' aspect (dancing unclothed beneath the moon), but that's probably just my personal prejudice. Try expanding it just a little - it leaves me somewhat unsated as it is. I'd recommend having a look at drnick's 'Lonely Road', it's something similar to this.
As with the poem you just posted, I think this has good potential but needs work. Have a look round at other poems here, leave comments with people and you should hopefully get other people giving you advice and ideas back.