Ranger23 Mar 2006

Gorgeous, again. You've hit a winner with the last stanza, it's one of the best I've ever seen! Personally I'd remove the brackets, and change 'lovely' (it seems a bit too...basic, perhaps, in comparison with the rest of the poem) and one of the 'suns'. Changing the first one would work well in my opinion, it makes me think of you looking at a mango as the sun rises behind it.
I love the 'hazy-eye sky/London's smog' passage - I hate London for the most part but you've got this absolutely dead on. 'Exaggerated reality' - is that talking about the glorious image people tend to have of London when in reality a lot of it is, well, grubby?
Top stuff, keep them coming!