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Butterfly Belly, Orchid Face (Free verse) by Sunny

Butterflies, clamped hands, a sight (a euphoric vision to the beholder), with physical want and mental cravings like a pregnant woman’s. That is love in all its glory, resounding off color: a ricochet of lovely words off skeletal trees. The mango sun will shed its coat to radiate a brighter yellow sun, and the hazy-eye sky imitates the elegance of London’s smog head cold; you that see exaggerated reality, must be kissed by love, must have a fluttered belly, it will grow you a dazzling orchid.

Ranger 23-Mar-06/6:39 AM
Gorgeous, again. You've hit a winner with the last stanza, it's one of the best I've ever seen! Personally I'd remove the brackets, and change 'lovely' (it seems a bit too...basic, perhaps, in comparison with the rest of the poem) and one of the 'suns'. Changing the first one would work well in my opinion, it makes me think of you looking at a mango as the sun rises behind it.
I love the 'hazy-eye sky/London's smog' passage - I hate London for the most part but you've got this absolutely dead on. 'Exaggerated reality' - is that talking about the glorious image people tend to have of London when in reality a lot of it is, well, grubby?
Top stuff, keep them coming!




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