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Numbers In Heaven (Free verse) by Dovina

My name is 183, one of myriad, born in heaven, nestled eternally between two evens, and called, with affection, odd. Some of us are prime, numbers so perfect they were flung to distant worlds, if maybe there, their beauty too might be beheld. I take delight in knowing I am certain, fixed and real, never to be forsaken or replaced, unique, useful, unmatched and unmatchable. Pregnant with potential in Platonic minds, we odds alone, save the chosen 2, titillate their senses. Sometimes in anxious moments, Senses failing, in the wonder of it all, I feel an urgent sadness, imagine myself a figment of their god-like minds, a bipolar disturbance, perhaps a mere conveyance, no more than an assertion, a useful word. Then I feel contrived by them for pleasure and convenience, lovely only in their minds. But as the notion passes, I rest in heavenly peace, unequaled and real, fixed and founded, uniquely placed by God.

Ranger 18-Mar-06/9:44 AM
Sorry if I seem like I'm dodging, I'm not great at answering 'big' questions directly. This time tomorrow I'll probably be struck by a brilliant response.
Morality - I don't doubt that my upbringing contributed plenty to how I act, but I honestly don't believe it could have made me as determined to be 'moral' as I actually am. And why is God necessary? Well without an ultimate arbitrator, why on earth shouldn't I go round eliminating all the people I don't like? Or on a more practical level, if we really were stuck in an existential hole, why should I even be nice to people?
Yes, if I never had wings and saw a play where people were flying I probably would think it was awesome. But never in my life have I actually believed it could happen. I used to think it would be awesome to be a scorpion, but I never believed I could become one. And I stick by what I said: if someone had never - and I mean never - experienced love, they might well be amazed at the idea of it and want to go and find out if it was real, but they wouldn't believe with absolute certainty that it did exist. Belief in the possibility of X doesn't equate to belief in X.

Indeed there are truly gifted people. I know a few. And with those gifts seems to come a drawback. The most intellectually, musically and physically gifted person I know also happens to be suicidally depressed. Now to me that makes no sense. If God took an active hand in dealing out gifts, I'm pretty sure that He wouldn't be so wasteful as to put such contradictory traits together. It would make more sense if an average person like myself, who probably won't make any impact on the world, were to have to contend with the darker psychological issues, while those who will make a difference were free to actually make that difference. So I don't think that genius comes directly from God. And as for the individuals you named 'transcending us mere mortals'...well Jordan could kick my ass at basketball (to be fair, that's not saying much) and probably at every other physical activity. But - and I really don't want to sound arrogant here - I'm prepared to bet that I'm better at creative writing than him. And da Vinci...intellectually I'm less than microscopic in comparison, but if we were living at the same time, I'd love to take him on at football. There is no such thing as a person who is universally better than everyone else, so no - they don't transcend us. In a similar vein, their abilities didn't just appear overnight. They had to work for them. The potential might have been innate to them, but if Jordan had never worked out, would he have been able to stun the basketball world? No, I doubt it.




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