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Numbers In Heaven (Free verse) by Dovina

My name is 183, one of myriad, born in heaven, nestled eternally between two evens, and called, with affection, odd. Some of us are prime, numbers so perfect they were flung to distant worlds, if maybe there, their beauty too might be beheld. I take delight in knowing I am certain, fixed and real, never to be forsaken or replaced, unique, useful, unmatched and unmatchable. Pregnant with potential in Platonic minds, we odds alone, save the chosen 2, titillate their senses. Sometimes in anxious moments, Senses failing, in the wonder of it all, I feel an urgent sadness, imagine myself a figment of their god-like minds, a bipolar disturbance, perhaps a mere conveyance, no more than an assertion, a useful word. Then I feel contrived by them for pleasure and convenience, lovely only in their minds. But as the notion passes, I rest in heavenly peace, unequaled and real, fixed and founded, uniquely placed by God.

zodiac 16-Mar-06/8:35 AM
I've often wondered the same thing. Sometimes I think the real sign of Job's faith wasn't that he believed in God through hardship, but that he believed when everything was going great for him.

I've often not had cash in my pocket. I have had rough times. I've seen awful things happen. When people talk about all the crap they go through in their lives, I usually think I've had about the same number of bad things happen to me.

Um, if my wife died...? I honestly can't say. I think I could handle it, but there's no telling. Anyway, I'd mistrust any religion that was so obviously a crutch. I mean, if my wife dies and I just HAVE TO believe that there's an afterlife because I can't stand the thought of her simply being GONE... well, I haven't had any EXPERIENCE of God. I don't have anything showing me there is a heaven. I just have need or want. Want isn't God, to me. It doesn't add to my knowledge or experience.

Anyway, that's all kind of beside the point, for me. I don't mean that I have fewer bad experiences or times in my life, but that when I have a bad time, I really believe I'm going to be able to take care of it on my own. So the experience doesn't seem so bad. I don't know, maybe if I believed in God, if I was fatalistic or lacked confidence, those times would seem worse to me. My life would seem worse. You know?

PS-I enjoy these conversations too.




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