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Piano (Free verse) by Dovina

I used to pause in the doorway just to take it in, and late at night I pictured it there, a monster standing on three legs, with enormous stringy mouth. She calls it the largest, heaviest, most beautiful thing in her house, shows her students the scale, says it’s the mother of chords, and chords can bring you tears or smiles. But no one listens to scales, or praises the lines they cling to. Every line a steppingstone, good for climbing up and down. Boy, is climbing fun, she says, does it ever get you jazzed, fine-tuned and ready for chords. So I fingered the scales, walked the lines, harmonized chords, and never got jazzed. The terrible Yamaha, its wide stage, white spears and black daggers, those monstrous teeth. She never said they’d chew me up.

Ranger 7-Mar-06/12:59 PM
Sure thing. I love the image of a piano as a monster; it's something that would have never occurred to me! So muchos credit for originality. However, the scales were all but crying out to be embellished; the hide of a dragon or alligator sprang to mind (particularly when you then talked about smiles and tears, and then stepping stones; perfect crocodile material in my book - if the imagery is already meant to be there, it just needs teasing out a little more).
You seem to be suggesting in stanza 4 that you thought you could tame the monster (mastery of music, yes?) If so, I would love to see you talking about tying it up with chords. Cheesy wordplay I know, but it would make my day! You might also want to consider playing with the danger - the harm(onies). Seriously, I know they sound like awful puns, but it could work. If I'm going too far with these, feel free to throw things at me - chairs, tables, pianos etc.
'Jazzed' feels great in this piece - perhaps combine it with the teeth, make me think 'jagged'. I really do like the 'white spears and black daggers', although as far as connotations go it's almost a complete reversal - I think black spears and white daggers (Zulus and colonial field marshals).
'These monstrous teeth' - great line, and despite the relative simplicity of it I think the last line is very good, very effective too.
Use these ideas as you wish - it could be that they lend too much weight to the 'monster' imagery and detract from the music...see what you think.




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