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War on Iraq (Free verse) by Dhanesh M Kumar

WAR ON IRAQ Envisage ; that you are there where thousand of perilous burns, ravaging the entire reign, That your son, daughter and plenty of kin craving for life, to refrain from that fatal burns. That they are right as a trivet, not doing anything wrong, alas happened to be the dweller of that land. That you may sustain that burns to live alone your remaining days. Believe me; That my eyes are flooded now thinking of you and your kin’s fate. That there can be such thousand you, along with a hundred I. that the others are not concerned of you as they are on the safer Land. That there will be such numerous wars if the doctrine of pre- emption gets fuelled with.

ecargo 7-Mar-06/10:27 AM
Not a 10, but not a zero, so for the sake of balance:

Needs a stronger focus or pivot; less rant, more center/substance/something to grip, entice us in. The emotion's there, but it's more diatribe than poem right now.




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