Replying to a comment on:
my girl's day [tri-ku]
(
Haiku
) by
lmp
morning sunbeams catch fairies dancing in the air; my girl claps with glee. golden curls bouncing, her shadow shortens, she runs, her laughter fluid. quiet face looks up to moonlight and stars above. she whispers goodnight.
Ranger
6-Mar-06/11:07 AM
Nice enough, although as you'd emphasised morning and evening, I'd like to see the second haiku have a 'midday' theme, just to complete the set. It would also give you scope to put a little more imagery in the second one; in comparison with the others it is lacking somewhat at the moment.
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