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A HANGMAN'S MOANING (Free verse) by Dhanesh M Kumar

Is there anyone who sees my mind Alas doing for the sake of bread; The justice perhaps may have a thousand reasons to make him stranglehold, surmounted my knot. That final stare varies, person to person Often making my mind so brittle, agonized faces many I have seen, But so penetrating is the beaming smile! Me the tool and he the sufferer, Is there anyone who sees my mind?

richa 5-Mar-06/1:36 PM
'Alas doing for the sake of bread' is garbled. Something like 'hanging men for the bread on my table' makes more sense.

'The justice perhaps may'- No 'the' perhaps and maybe mean the same thing (in this context) so you should ditch one. 'Justice may have a thousand reasons' would be more obvious.

'to make him stranglehold' should be 'to strangle him' and the man does not surmount the knot. The knot is atop him.

A mind can not realistically be said to be brittle because it is non-material.

'agonized faces many I have seen' should probably be 'I have seen many agonising faces'.




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