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Meltdown (Free verse) by longships

One million suns, Wreak havoc upon Earth’s soil. Cities fall amidst flames, That send iron and steel to boil. No continent is safe, From the radiating mist. Flowing graceless with the wind, Conquering all that exists. The final meltdown, Brings freedom to our souls. One small mistake, Turning all life cold.

ecargo 3-Mar-06/8:22 AM
Don't let the rhymes drive the poem (send iron and steel to boil is a good example--awkward and wordy, just because you wrote to the rhyme). Watch for over-familiar terms like "wreak havoc"--generally, if use a term you later realize you've read elsewhere a gazillion times , change it. How does something flow "gracelessly"?

Good topic, but could use more moodiness.




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