Blue Magpie22 Feb 2006

A pleasant surprise to find this on my first look back, still it is marred by the iambic errors as noted.

"I cannot watch it because I won't pray" is not iambic pentametre, but
"I cannot watch because I will not pray" is, while admitting that it is your poem and not mine I fail to see how the 2nd line would detract from the message. It is true, that in longer poems, such as that which I just posted tthe iambic pentametre can become a soporific, but in a vilanelle or a sonnet, a part of the enjoyment of reading one is the fluidity of the construction.

Any way, nice work, but keep working on it.