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A Broken man (Free verse) by Mikius

He loved her With all his heart She was as pale blossom Blown on the warm summer's breeze From flowers the trees take root But the sapling did not survive Trampled underfoot And left to die Like so many leaves in fall He fell with them (This is only a 1st draft. Suggestions would be appreciated)

Ranger 20-Feb-06/5:17 AM
Makes me think that it should perhaps be a collection of haikus; the natural imagery fits the bill perfectly. Personally I'd change 'Trampled underfoot', as a phrase it's very worn.
It took me a second read to realise the 'leaves in fall' bit, I'm not as quick with Americanisms as you are, but it works beautifully.




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