Ranger19 Feb 2006

Line 8 - is it meant to be 'cry out "Swim..."'? That would seem to make more sense to me. I like 'mothering sun', I take it that is a semi-play on 'mothering sunday'? It makes that passage a neat little metaphor for life.
I'm not totally sure about the last line, in a way it unbalances the 'positive/negative' equilibrium of this piece.