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You (Free verse) by terbenaw

I gaze upon the night's pale eye Its incandescent illumination Invigorating my being As I think of you Your face Enchantingly beautiful Captivates my vision And Earth's shadowy blanket Coupled with its luminous jewels Serves as your backdrop Your eyes, twin windows Into glimpses of Heaven Shine with innocence And love unfettered Promises of forever hinted In pecan brown treasures A winter wind whispers In my ear, carrying a voice Rich with velvet warmth that dances Within the confines of its cool exterior As its gentle caress tickles my mouth Sensory recollections surface Of soft lips upon my own Its edges curled upwards Into a smile The breeze diminishes And the world slumbers in dreams Of tranquility, yet still I think of you I wonder if you're out here with me somewhere Under the watchful eye of the night

Ranger 19-Feb-06/4:02 PM
Sadly the world rarely slumbers in dreams of tranquility, but the occasion would be a wonderful thing. Anyway, this is very softly written and I like it. Personally I'd change 'velvety' to simply 'velvet' because that entire analogy is very good. Again, I like the way you refer to the moon, although I think that you could find something better than 'phosphorescent' - just my opinion though.
Sadly the line 'pecan brown treasures' made me think solely of -=Dark_Angel=-, quite a shame as it's a lovely line. -=D_A=-, you have tainted my reading of poetry with your embrowning.
Actually, I'd quite like to see him use that line in a poem(e)...




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