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change (3rd draft) (Haiku) by Adriaan

Hermit sits: same place, but new view. Red leaves fall.

Ranger 14-Feb-06/3:41 PM
Ah...it's tricky to know what to say about a haiku, particularly a short haiku (or whatever the technical name is for this structure, 3-5-2, sounds like a football formation) but this has so much scope for descriptive imagery. I want to say 'describe the hermit, describe where he's sitting, describe the leaves, describe how they're falling' etc. etc. etc. but I have this nagging feeling that it would actually detract from the purpose of this poem; it retains a clarity in its brevity that is actually quite refreshing. And I'm rambling. If only Kaolin had made a comment compressor to shift through the rubbish in my comments so as to find any kernels of usefulness that might remain.




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