Ranger14 Feb 2006

Poetry for dummies? You're long past that stage, in my view. You're right not to want to change this poem radically, in fact there's nothing that 'needs' changing, beyond a little editing for the grammatical side - just to make it read a little smoother. However I would really like to see a version of this as extended; expand the imagery that you've already started. It feels like you have ideas and pictures that haven't quite manifested themselves in here yet...let your imagination run riot and see what it creates. I'd suggest keeping this one as is and posting it again extended, which would give you the text to go back to and compare the two.