Replying to a comment on:

Journeyman (Free verse) by Glasseyez

I have traveled far and wide you know Seen four the seven seas, The beach the snow and auroras glow These things aren’t new to me, Come and go like the seasons flow No telling where I might be, I wonder round the ancient grounds Forests, lochs, and streams, Never finding always searching For a place that I might go, A place where there is everything A man like me could dream, I travel round from town to town Singing the same old song, “Might I find a friendly place Where a man like me belongs, I have traveled far and wide you know Seen four the seven seas, I long to find a place that’s nice Where I can just be me”

Ranger 14-Feb-06/3:24 PM
Poetry for dummies? You're long past that stage, in my view. You're right not to want to change this poem radically, in fact there's nothing that 'needs' changing, beyond a little editing for the grammatical side - just to make it read a little smoother. However I would really like to see a version of this as extended; expand the imagery that you've already started. It feels like you have ideas and pictures that haven't quite manifested themselves in here yet...let your imagination run riot and see what it creates. I'd suggest keeping this one as is and posting it again extended, which would give you the text to go back to and compare the two.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001