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Monkey Tree (Breathless edit) (Free verse) by ecargo

We hid, sheltered in green, the welter of boles, knobs, boughs that grew to ground our hollow bower; clambered limb to limb, lithe and nimble, limber, scrambling; shinned high, gripped broad branches with our knees, and dangled upside- down, hands clasped tight and swinging, heads a- spin; tangled tongues beneath the leafy canopy; fumbled tingled; watched the tie-dyed slide of violet night as Venus swelled; and laughed until we fell.

Ranger 9-Feb-06/6:23 AM
A good edit, in my opinion you might want to put a few more rhymes in there to make it quicker to read - it feels like it should be a fast poem to reflect the speed of clambering up and tumbling down.




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