Replying to a comment on:

Tonight (edit) (Free verse) by drnick

Your eyes swallow pain Like the desert swallows rain I'm falling down down and back on my feet again A shade of gray I comprehend One that makes your mind expend I've stalled on the tracks and started a new trend In the dreary cold of winter's night You're my solemn bedside candlelight I want to push you away with intent to invite Alas, you've stolen my rhythmic breath To such an extent there’s no more left I'll be the willing victim to such a beautiful death

LilMsLadyPoet 2-Feb-06/7:36 PM
I'm not sure what "I want to push you away
with intent to invite" means...? that by pushing away, you know it will invite?
other than that...this is cool...I like that you leave things half said...and it is not hard to deduct the rest of what is not being said. Very good.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001