Replying to a comment on:
Frozen Branches
(
Acrostic
) by
jmalone
Feathers and empty nests; realities of wintry seasons, on banks of desperate quests, still frozen for natural reasons. Trees and fallen leaves; omens of colder skies, next to longer sleeves, and truant solar rise. Branches and broken stalks; realities of arctic range, abounding treacherous walks, notwithstanding change, changed by winds of reason, harmonizing nature's season. © By jmalone
ecargo
29-Jan-06/5:19 PM
Good attempt! Maybe you shouldn't give it away in the title though. I like "desperate quests." (Because of explorers? That's how I took it.)
"Abounding" should be banished from poetry, IMO. Maybe "adorning" or something instead (not that you're subject to my biases). "Notwithstanding" doesn't make sense to me here.
I like the idea of acrostics, but sometimes writing to predefined rules can really result in something stilted. Still, fun in a puzzle-like way.
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