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Untouchable (Other) by rahson_s

I am in love with my best friend's daughter, her unseen beauty, an age so young, I must wait till she fills out, she's almost eighteen, we've been friends since her birth, the best man to her father, the god father to her brother and sister, she's so adorable, so smart for her time here, special in all forms of being different, I'd give it all to be where she lay her head, to cuddle, to spoon with this woman on the verge of entering college, the tainted times ahead of her, at times I talk to her on the phone to a very late hour, if only her father knew, the dangerous steps taken to following my heart, the love letters, the kisses behind the backs of all those we love, the dinner engagements, the sneaking off to make out in her bedroom, the guiltiness, the remorse, the wanting, the needing, only if I could, only if she would, the many questions, the plan to run away, the reality of such a foolish thought, the hunger of wanting to be inside her, to be her first, to be killed by her father, his hands squeezing the life out of me, a death worth fighting for, a woman worth dying for, she remains untouchable

Alizarin_Crimson 27-Jan-06/5:53 PM
Nice. Consider putting "I am in love with my best friend's daughter" at the beginning, instead of the end. That grabs the reader's attention, and then the rest would make more sense.




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