god'swife25 Jan 2006

This is very sweet. And I'd venture to guess a common experience these days. All the woman I know who are married are married to younger men. You portray your feelings so sweetly that I was left feeling- "I know why he loves her". Would your younger self have been able to appreciate this relationship as you do now ? It's wonderful when a poem has a hidden dimension tucked into it. I'm sure it's un-intentional but it's there.

the last line in the 2nd stanza- You might consider continuing the metaphor of seasons representing ages, and instead of the adj. 'earlier' try 'spring'
or 'summer'etc...

The first line of the last stanza- This is a tiny thing but I think saying "won't" instead of "can't" sounds more certain, and that shows the woman in the poem accepting herself and the fact that this man loves her as is. Also in this stanza you mix tenses slightly. The 3rd line would reflect better on the 1st with 'your love will soften'