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Racism 3 (Free verse) by Dovina

It hit like an asteroid, penetrating the sphere, and two became one flesh. Her destiny grew as stated, her course and color set. They knew she could never know the others because their knowledge came from better stock, or their outcomes self adjusted, so they said that what she thought was false.

ecargo 15-Jan-06/9:56 PM
I like this better than the others--a little more oblique but more effective for it. "Two became one flesh" is a cliche; might want to recast in more original words. Maybe start off with a stronger word than "It"--what hit like an asteroid? Stands in for the real word, which is always less direct and, thus, effective.




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