Replying to a comment on:

Flow (Free verse) by zodiac

Nights she dreams the bedroom, farmhouse, cornrows plowed straight, come unmoored. This is too good, she thinks, this straightness, this hard earth of certitude, love. There will be flood, flux, sinkage, some nadir. There will be earth-pull, that waiting ocean, Memory.

Dental Panic 11-Jan-06/3:47 PM
Recently I had a debate with someone over the use of 'this (is)' in a poem. I always wonder what happens when you pull it out - because there's always something happening. To me 'this (is)' is like a pointing finger, it's outside of the poem. The other party didn't agree. To him it was something he used frequently, without any objections. He liked the rhythm of it, and the decisiveness. I think he would have used your poem to prove his point. But maybe I would have too.
I've got a problem with 'she dreams'/'she thinks'.






Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001