Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 13:02:37 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

Swallows announce the end of yesterday. The morning girl awakens to their song. Her crayola sunrise paints over the gray of fading night to dawn a bright sarong, a flower-sprinkled emerald dress that stretches to the horizonâs hem and ripples in a warm windâs caress: A playground for the cherubim. âOh, Uncle Moon, please play with me, while the dayâs still shining bright?â âIâm so tired but Iâll try Sweetpea.â And the moon missed work that night.

cyan9

9-Jan-06/6:00 AM

Cute - but no cigar. Where is the content and the grit to this. I think this is written in a lovely way with rich language and soft tones, but I canât find anything that gives me what I look for in a poem, it gives all the traditional things such as elegance and flow.... If I were I scholar in poetry then I would give this a 9 for being well-written, but as myself a 4 since it appears to be pointless (even as just an image there is nothing new, just nice well written poetry), I know Iâm outnumbered 7 to 1 in this opinion, and that Iâm going to embarrass myself somewhere with this comment later on when someone points out the not so hidden meaning, but I canât find the point to this poem. 4 may be harsh, but I consider your work to be in a better league to most on here, and so I'll rate you by the standards you have set with your previous work, rather than the average on this site.

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