Replying to a comment on:

Construction Lot (edit) (Free verse) by zodiac

It is a dizzying sunspangled day in the city. A March-wind flirting sings in a standpipe in a lot I'm passing by where city-dwelling children used to play. Now there's a fence. And in my heart I yearn to cross that lot, and again on my return, but don’t, knowing in my heart its current kings are cold and stern. Oh, I could ask them why they've built in this, the last clear place. And they would answer Progress, such things as we learn when we are very young. And I - but I keep on my well-worn way. This wind, it flings wet trash across the lot, the city sways. And it seems if we just didn't believe these things were real before us, I could speak tongues, burn the city down, could step out and away from the ground, out into the mirror sky.

Joe-joe 3-Jan-06/1:32 PM
The city kids must have moved to the suburbs because a "fence" could never keep one of us out of our favorite play grounds. On one hand you suggest that something was built on the lot, on the other you paint a picture of an empty lot surrounded by a fence. Which one is it? The last paragraph is vague at very best. Are you attempting to highlight the common man's powerlessness in the face of “progress” or your own sense of indifference?




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001