Replying to a comment on:

Artificial Reality (Free verse) by PK

Sometimes you find yourself Stuck between a ridge Sometimes you find yourself Hiding behind a closed bridge You make a world So special and sweet You make a world So unreal and fake Your world becomes a fantasy A dream that only you see Everyone else already knows You've slipped and are gone This world you wish Is just a fraud Everyone keeps shaking you Hoping you'll wake up Everyone keeps pouncing you Wishing you could see The ridge has fallen The bridge has open Reality has hit You find yourself Alone and waiting Just what to do next? You close your eyes And step across Turn away And say Hello.

Sisterwolf 28-Dec-05/7:06 PM
There are a lot of good basics here, but it yaws
in order to make certain statements.
Line two of verse 2 should be 'has opened' - don't sacrifice good grammer to achieve an end.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001