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Broken Bird (Other) by Sisterwolf

Broken bird with tattered wings, what a bittersweet song she sings. Her eyes dart here, then there, as she watches for his empty stare. No longer does this lovely bird fly, she no longer wants the open sky. He took her soul and wrung it out, filling her with dread and doubt. The face she sees in the mirror is etched with sorrow, pale with fear. He taught she is ugly, unworthy, dumb. Now her feelings of worth are numb. Will she ever fly again, this battered bird, or are her wings forever tattered. She hides, never raising her pretty eyes, as every day another part of her dies.

nentwined 26-Dec-05/6:09 PM
If you really want more detail, a) read the definition of a pimple poem; b) the rhyme scheme is hackneyed, nearly impossible to do well; c) the rhythm is off just about everywhere; d) your english is broken ("he taught she is ugly"?) e) you twist the word order to fit the rhymes you want

Most of us have written stuff this bad. It's okay. You cannot improve this poem. Put it behind you and move on.




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