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YOUR OWN PLEASURE (Other) by Zoe

A pleasure whose origin is to be placed outside us and in objects whose presence we cannot be sure of; a pleasure therefore that is precarious in itself, undermined by the fear of loss. —Michel Foucault I search for you in the city I search for you in the city, scan each face I pass, note each tree scan each face I pass, note each tree. I scan for you in the pass, note each city; I search each face in the tree. The bright shop window you’ll see, the bright shop window you’ll see with her: it’s strange that you’re so close with her: it’s strange that you’re so close The bright, her window; strange that you’ll close with its shop: see that you’re so. When it grows dark: the streets when it grows dark; the streets are a mass of bodies, lights and cars are a mass of bodies lights and cars. When the bodies a-mass, dark cars are it: the streets of grows and lights. You exist somewhere without; you exist somewhere without me in the heaving mess: me in the heaving mess. Me somewhere. Exist heaving. You in the mess without. I stop to buy a newspaper; I stop to buy a newspaper. Long columns of words remind me; long columns of words remind me. Me? I long to column a newspaper, stop to remind: buy of words. Long, striped fields outside Vienna, long striped fields outside Vienna; seen when I flew home early, seen when I flew home early. Long seen fields when Vienna flew; I striped home (outside early). You were to follow, but then— you were to follow, but then like now, something snapped inside me: like now, something snapped inside me. You follow now to inside, like me, but then you were something snapped. I foresee you alone: I foresaw you. Strange that you’ll close seeing field, word, light; heaving field, word, light. Long seen words snap alone: I am the fields that you light.

Dovina 6-Dec-05/7:31 PM
It’s not strictly paradelle, which has only four stanzas compared to your eight. Nor does your last stanza contain all of the words in the above stanzas. Nor is it two paradelles, because the fourth stanza does not contain all the words in the above four. Still, it’s a good poem and holds the thoughts together in spite of a very constraining form.

It is certainly better than http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=107380 where I mock Billy Collins, the French, and other sticklers to form.




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