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Calenders, Painters and the Boy who imagined Everything (Free verse) by avery

Mellow, shallow, dew drops yellow, reaching, catching, raindrops spashing. azure crystals; dangling from the leaves, the afterweather; cool wind forms a breeze. golden rays doth reign, not a grey patch to be seen. the sky forms a blue band, mimosa seedlings float gently, spreading across the land. auburn maple leaves rustle under scampering feet, smokey white squirrels burying acron seeds. blue birds migrate, away from the soon-to-be snow cape. fiery fireplaces burn with a warm lush. grey soot from the chimney; trails the clear, winter mornings. the vast whiteness; silently awaits

Dovina 2-Dec-05/11:54 AM
A few suggestions: Use different styles if you want, but not within the same poem. Try for consistency of rhythm, like the rhythm you start with, for example. And try not to mix styles of language, like using "doth" (doeth)in a modedrn English poem. And try not use semicolons so much. And don't give up.




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