cyan922 Nov 2005

Absolutely full of actions to analyse and think about. Draws readers like me to think much deeper into your personality than most pieces that aim to state who you are. I think I might use this style later in order to try and shape a persons experience by the actions and pathways that you give them to analyse, rather than to present them with the analysis in a statement (may lead to a much richer form).
Back to the poem though, I found a slightly unpleasant break in the flow at the stanza with the unborn word to be an absolute high point of the piece. If you had continued with the flow all the way, I may have thought that this was a delightful little piece and should score it an 8 for having a nice rhyme; however the break in the flow caused me to pause to think, and thus dive into the analysis and the ideas that this provokes. My only problem is that I dont quite understand the 2 lines about statring "To give".