zodiac21 Nov 2005

My one suggestion is to avoid overloading your poem with adjective phrases (ie, "dwelling in the rust", "injecting the pathway", "ascending to the fire", etc.) Change almost all of them to other formulations, give it some grammatical variety.
I like that you use tons of great verbs in your poems - one of the great weaknesses of this site's users is verblessness - but by making them all -ing, you make them a lot more passive than they should be. Off the top of my head, I'd say make the first line "It dwells in rust that gilds the woodland floor" and go from there. No, that's not the best possible way to phrase that line, but it's heading in the right direction, and this isn't my poem to edit, anyway.

Suggestion #2: Consider dropping about half of the "the"s.