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Amber's Witness (Free verse) by cyan9

Dwelling in the rust that gilds the woodland floor, Injecting the pathway to the cycle beyond the doors Back into the open arms of a wilting chestnut tree. Silver slid up the track marks through cambium into being, Ascending to the fire that spoke from each and every leaf, Elevating the witness higher into the branches, the furnace. Sap lit and glistening beads dripped; And when the fires dimmed, and smoldered again They were held stationary, like frozen shards of rain. Brushing aside the curtain of glistening droplets, Peering into the embers within: The glow of a dying fire, A heartbeat for autumn's oncoming.

ALChemy 20-Nov-05/6:38 AM
Reminds me of back home in PA. This is good solid descriptive poetry.

I like the juxtaposition of the metalic terms with the forest setting. I wish there were a few more of them to maintain that contrast and add even more depth.

I see some tendencies in your work to focus on evoking the emotion through elaborate description, which is great, don't get me wrong but I'm left wondering what other styles you might have in your arsonal. Poems can also make us think and/or rethink ideas of something and poems can also tell you a good story. I mean if this is your thing and you'd rather focus on it, well that's fine. I just think your capabilities are much wider than this.
I also am guessing alot of these poems were written timewise in close proximity to one another because many of the descriptions and metaphors you use recur in your other poems. That happens to me whenever I write alot of poems in a short timespan.




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