Poemranker [Replying] Sun Nov 24 13:21:29 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

phases of futility... (Free verse) by Bhaskaryya

I am to you but... Wind to the hill every touch changes course of my life and yet moves you not rain to the swan a delicate fantasy a seasoned mate but too much is never enough passing zephyr to the old oak that stirs up the leaves and after the momentary rustle loses itself within echoes of silence...

Bhaskaryya

10-Nov-05/8:00 AM

I think I'll retain the THE as it refers to one particular thing. Leaves is a metaphor for memory and thus THE is is required.

Yes, if you look at the title, it opens the poem to a different level of interpretation and it has more beyond the surface.

The poem is about the three stanzas in the life of the man in question. The first is his youth where he loves this woman blindly and his love makes him pretty touchy and frgaile. But she's hard-hearted and remains unmoved by his affection.

Later, they develop a certain amount of friendship but it's still not enough to quench the thirst of the man. He offers her his friendship and love but it's still not enough for the woman to develop the long term relationship with him.

The third stanza looks more into the life of the woman. They are no longer together or even in touch. She too is now old as the oak and his memory passes by her sometimes and causes a momentary distress i her mind but even that passes of soon and she's back to her normal life.

Certain pahrases like 'seasoned mate' and 'too much is never enough' have deeper metaphors but then again, they are for the reader to figure out!

Thabks for reading!

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