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Ruins (Free verse) by Caducus

Night fell in Rome as we once did. I have returned to what never left me, As a ruin amongst ruins a statue by statues once magnificent sculptured by architects crafted lovingly to be destroyed then admired, by Lovers in the Emperors new shoes. I remembered her last words. Watched lovers mow scarlet, and became invisible to them blanched against a colonnade which held nothing but achromatic skies and me until sunrise. This is my requiem for you my love. The promise fulfilled, you rise across the Tiber taking my prayers with you on pastures where you answered them seven years ago in Rome, Oh my love - we are home.

zodiac 24-Oct-05/4:11 AM
Why sculptured instead of sculpted? As it is you have 'a statue sculptured', a verb which I can only imagine means 'made like a statue'. In other words, making sculpted 'sculptured' adds no meaning at all and eliminates an easy chance to add meaning.

On a constructive note, I think it would be helpful for you to add actual, modern details about Rome. Seriously.




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