Replying to a comment on:
Farm animals
(
Ghazal
) by
INTRANSIT
Pending publication
Tintagiles
19-Oct-05/11:03 PM
There's something about 'the sun the other as/rooster crowing' that doesn't quite work. I couldn't pinpoint the proble, but it's there. A comma after 'sun' would simplify it, but perhaps too much.
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