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My addict (Other) by Heather Dee

My addict I thought you had left me and went on your way. How foolish I was to think you wouldn’t stay. Just when I thought I had gotten over you. I find myself weak, not knowing what to do. Your familiar voice whispers in my ear, “Just one little hit to cover all my fears” Before I know it the glass is at my lips. Sending numbness into my finger tips. As you stare laughing at me in the mirror, My eyes try holding back the pain and the tears. Once again I have given into you. I really did believe that this time I was threw. Why can’t you leave me and go on your way? But your voice whispers to me each and every day. So I try with meetings and steps to leave you behind. But you’re always left lingering in the back of my mind. So I pray that today I will somehow see the light. And find the will power to win this never ending fight.

ALChemy 11-Sep-05/8:19 PM
I rarely score.

Besides a score is 20 and the ranks only go to 10.

How do you pronounce "mirror"? 'Cause when I say it, it doesn't even remotely rhyme with "tears". Try "terror".

This poem is half finished. You've got the thoughts and feelings laid out but you need to develop an approach and style that is uniquely you and doesn't sound like every other rehab poem. The idea of the person in the mirror being a different you is a good approach but still quite cliche'. If you were to actually do a dialogue where the mirror talks back (Like "Quote the mirror. Nevermore.") then that might grab our attention. Right now what you seem to have is journal poetry. Poetry used for purposes focused on the author and not the reader. Read some Edgar Allan Poe. He'll help you find the fear, addiction, and psychological struggle you want to express.




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